The Power of Pausing & Slowing Down

When interacting with your child, are you ever caught off guard and don't know how to react? RDI Consultant Carol Subramani wrote a great article on pausing and slowing down, and how beneficial it is during these moments. Here is an excerpt from Carol's article published on RDI Connect:


As a parent, a pause provides you with an opportunity to choose your response or you can act on impulse.  Impulse says, “tell him what to do” or “he has not moved – I’ll point in the direction of his sandals” or “I’ll give him the remote so he stops screaming”.  It feels good in the moment that you have taken an action but it is not mindful.

You can use the power of the pause to change from emotional reactions to thoughtful responses. Whether you’re reacting to provocations or trigger words, remind yourself that you can pause to choose your best response.

A pause in the right place at the right time gives YOU:

• time to breath
• time to consider what it is you’re going to do or say next
• time to observe, receive and digest the feedback you are getting from your child

A pause in the right place at the right time gives YOUR CHILD:

• time to breathe
• time to consider or to let the images or ideas you’ve given them ‘flower’ in their minds
• time to process, understand or  summarize what’s been said
• time to prepare for what may be coming next

Consider this, you can:

• Pause before a particular important point to increase tension and add emphasis.  Pausing at irregular points can also increase tension.
• Pause after important points in order to let what you said or did, sink in.
• Combine pauses with dramatic action, such as uncovering something, pointing to something important, etc.
• Use non-verbal signals to emphasize the pause. A simple way of doing this is to freeze the body, perhaps with an expectant expression on your face.

Click here to read the entire article published on RDI Connect.