Adding Challenge Through Laundry

Have you had your child help you with the laundry? Bimal Rai, a RDI Consultant from Singapore, wrote a very simple article on how to get your child involved with doing laundry. She goes through each step of how to make it a good RDI learning experience through adding challenge.

To read her article on RDI Connect, click here

Relationship Skills vs. Social Skills

"Relationships teach us about multiple perspectives and provide the experience to show us that there is more than one right way of thinking, feeling, solving a problem and behaving. Through relationship encounters, we see the world through another's eyes and notice it is not identical to our own. Relationships teach us to think about the world in a relative and not absolute manner. In a relationship our actions cannot be interpreted as right or wrong. Rather, they are meaningful or not depending on how they impact the individuals involved in the relationship. Rather than pushing a button or following a script, relationships require us to constantly evaluate and re-evaluate the state of our connection to one another and make ongoing adjustments."

- Dr. Steve Gutstein

HOW IS YOUR CHILD AT HAVING TRUE RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS? Dr. Gutstein, a co-founder of RDI, wrote a very interesting comparing relationship skills to social skills. He describes the skills needed to "fit in" with those around, but also the skills that need to be developed to build true and lasting relationships.

To read this article by Dr. Gutstein on RDI Connect, click here

Do You Want to Build a Snowman?

The song, "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" from the Disney movie Frozen has been quite popular this year:

I'm right out here for you, just let me in
We only have each other
It's just you and me
What are we gonna do?

Do you wanna build a Snowman?

This part of the song creates a great moment after Anna invites her older sister Elsa to build a snowman with her. What a great opportunity for them to spend time together!

Playing in the snow can be turned into the most wonderful family RDI activity. If you can find a good day when the temperature isn't too cold and there is some fresh snow, it can make for a fun afternoon with your child.

Ideas on how to make building a snowman into a RDI activity:
- Both parent and child can push a big snowball together to create part of the snowman


- Between parent and child, you can split up the work - each of you roll your own snowman and then combine them to make a two-snowballed snowman

- Both parent and child can work together making a big pile of snow to be your snowman

- Both parent and child can problem solve together of how to make the flat snow on the ground look like a snowman. Make sure to validate your child's ideas, and be creative on how to "invent" your own snowman together.

They most important thing to remember is that you and your child are WORKING TOGETHER. It is important to remember that it is okay if your snowman doesn't end up looking like a "typical" snowman with three stacked snowballs. Be creative, and enjoy having fun together!

A Relationship with My Daughter: A Personal Story

"A long time ago, Anna never said or called me mom, now I can happily say, there is not a day that goes by that I do not hear her call me mom. Also, eye contact is no longer an issue. She is engaged and happy. I can tell her no and it is not going to be a melt down. I no longer fear for her future."

- Ann

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN READING PERSONAL STORIES? This story is taken from a RDI Mom who shared a story about building a relationship with her daughter. Ann said, "I feel the best thing I can give [my daughter] is my time."

Click here to read this article on RDI Connect

Connect Four: A Personal Story

Do you enjoy reading PERSONAL STORIES from our local RDI families? Kristi, one of our RDI moms, wrote a very inspirational article about an experience that her husband had while doing RDI with her nine-year-old son. This is a great example of how to teach a big life lesson through a simple activity.

Connect Four

by: Kristi

Nine-year-old Duncan and my husband sat at the kitchen table this morning playing Connect Four. This is not a challenging game for Duncan. The challenging aspect of any game, for him, is losing a game. My husband purposely plays the same move over and over again. Duncan keeps winning over and over again; as my husband literally drops the “coins” in the same slots. By game number 5 Duncan is onto him. First he asks, “Why are you letting me win?” Then he says he doesn’t want to play anymore because it isn’t a challenge. A few more games of this and Duncan is ready to move on. My husband asks him, “but don’t you like to win? You get upset when you don’t win.” Duncan says, “It isn’t a real win, if there is no challenge.” Then they talk about what challenge really is. Duncan says, “I guess you have to lose sometimes so that you can have a real win. “ Then they play some real games where they each win a few games. Duncan’s wins are more celebrated than before and his loses become no big deal. It isn’t always this quick of a fix, but it is these principles that are teaching Duncan how to deal with uncertainty.

This is one example from our family’s RDI life. The most valuable thing that RDI has taught me is that the connections and “rules of life” need to be learned through experiences. In our home we have 2 autistic children. Even though they both have ASD, they exhibit opposite characteristics of the spectrum. Where one is sensory seeking, the other is avoidant, where one is anxiety/perfectionist driven, the other checks out. But RDI is working for both children because they are learning from actual experiences with natural consequences. 

Spotlight the Problem, not the Solution

"Being an effective guide is 95% mindset and 5% what you actually do. Our mindset and point of view are the roots from which all decisions are made. When I’m given a mere hour or half day to try to explain in a meaningful and practical way what RDI is, I focus on a simple phrase that encompasses a guiding mindset."

"Spotlight the problem, not the solution."

This was taken from an article written on Guiding Families Hawaii's blog. It is a wonderful article that helps all of us remember the importance of a guiding mindset. We encourage you all to read this article, it will be of benefit to you and your family as you are doing RDI.

Click here to read the article on Guiding Families Hawaii's company blog

New Years Challenge to YOU

"SETTING GOALS IS THE FIRST STEP IN TURNING THE INVISIBLE INTO THE VISIBLE"

- Tony Robbins

Has the time that you spend doing RDI with your child become invisible? With the new year just passing, January is the perfect time to stop and reflect on our own lives. What am I doing well? Where can I improve? We are not here to tell you the answer to either of these questions, but to encourage you to stop and ponder about your own life.

From our Pryor Consulting family, we challenge you to reflect on your own life and see where you could cut back on spending time, and replace it with meaningful RDI time spent to enrich your child's life. Could you take an extra 10 or 15 minutes a day to spend with your child?

New Year's Day

"Every time you tear a leaf off of a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress."

- Charles Kettering

What new ideas are you going to pursue during 2015?

We want to wish you all a Happy New Year, and we hope that your upcoming year will be filled with lots of joy!