Fall Scheduling

With it being the first week of September, that means that school has started and fall is on its way. This is the perfect time of year to reevaluate ourselves and how we spend our time. How are you going to spend your time this fall?


One of our consultants, Nicole Davis, shared how she has been reevaluating herself for fall:

As a new mom, I have gone from working full-time, to part-time so it has allowed me to spend time with my son. Over the past week I have been thinking about how easy it is for me to over-schedule our time together. I have always been one who doesn't like to miss out on any events or gatherings, and has a hard time telling others "no" when I am asked for assistance. I have been able to break down the word "over-scheduling" into three different categories that have helped me reevaluate and manage my time better.


1. Over scheduling ourselves (meeting friends for lunch, running errands... etc.)

2. Over scheduling our kids (signing them up for sports, music lessons, cooking classes, academic tutoring... etc.)

3. Over scheduling our minds (not unplugging from the world - phone calls, texts, social media... etc.)


So what is the solution? I have found that for me, it is helpful to schedule time to sit on the family room floor and play with my son. The more I take the time to unplug from the rest of the world and spend time with my son, the more I realize how fun it is to get to know his little personality better. I love our time together, and fear that these moments why he is young are going to slip through my fingers quickly as he grows up. Scheduling events for both me and my family are fun, needed, and very valuable, but I am going to make it a personal goal to keep all of our scheduling in moderation. What is the solution for you?

Family Snowball Fight

It's time for another fun family activity! Let's have a snowball fight! To make this activity fun for your child on the Autism Spectrum, make sure that everything is prepared for the activity, and that boundaries are set. Put on snow clothes yourself, and have fun!


Here are some IDEAS on how to cater it specifically to your child:
- Help your child to make a pile of snowballs beforehand that they can use as their stash

- Depending on your child, have it be just you and your child, or include an additional parent or sibling into the activity

- If needed, make physical boundaries known to ALL participants before starting (this is his/her area and no one can cross into it - this may give more comfort to your child)

**This activity is FULL of uncertainty and surprises for your child that will create challenges to your child on their own. Be there to support, but also let your child "fight" for him/herself against everyone.

Make sure to set up the activity so that your child will feel confident in his/her ability to participate so do whatever accommodations to make this possible. Remember that it's about having fun, and now who is going to win or lose.

RDI in the Home: A Personal Story

One of our local RDI Moms, Jenny, wrote her thoughts and experience from doing RDI in her home with two of her children. Thank you Jenny for taking the time to write this for us!

RDI in the Home

by: Jenny

I have had a successful yet interesting experience with RDI in that I have worked with two of my children in the program.  RDI has become such an integral part of my life that it has greatly affected the way I parent and interact with my children on a daily basis.  I worked several years with my daughter working on collaborative play and activities that enhanced dynamic thinking.  She is now 7 and is the social butterfly of the neighborhood.  She loves to play with other peers and is self-motivated to think beyond herself and incorporate dynamic thinking to increase the enjoyment of her interactions with others.

I have also worked with my son with RDI and had immense success.  He lacked a lot of the social development that helps him read other people and use dynamic thinking when interacting with others.  But after a couple years of RDI he started to grasp how to read a social cues.  He now is able to make friends easily and has a group of friends he plays with regularly. RDI has greatly enhanced my children’s experience and enjoyment in interacting with other peers. They are able to share experiences and find meaning with their peers around them.

If you would like to share your personal experience with RDI, please contact nicole@pryorconsulting.net

Do You Want to Build a Snowman?

The song, "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" from the Disney movie Frozen has been quite popular this year:

I'm right out here for you, just let me in
We only have each other
It's just you and me
What are we gonna do?

Do you wanna build a Snowman?

This part of the song creates a great moment after Anna invites her older sister Elsa to build a snowman with her. What a great opportunity for them to spend time together!

Playing in the snow can be turned into the most wonderful family RDI activity. If you can find a good day when the temperature isn't too cold and there is some fresh snow, it can make for a fun afternoon with your child.

Ideas on how to make building a snowman into a RDI activity:
- Both parent and child can push a big snowball together to create part of the snowman


- Between parent and child, you can split up the work - each of you roll your own snowman and then combine them to make a two-snowballed snowman

- Both parent and child can work together making a big pile of snow to be your snowman

- Both parent and child can problem solve together of how to make the flat snow on the ground look like a snowman. Make sure to validate your child's ideas, and be creative on how to "invent" your own snowman together.

They most important thing to remember is that you and your child are WORKING TOGETHER. It is important to remember that it is okay if your snowman doesn't end up looking like a "typical" snowman with three stacked snowballs. Be creative, and enjoy having fun together!

Connect Four: A Personal Story

Do you enjoy reading PERSONAL STORIES from our local RDI families? Kristi, one of our RDI moms, wrote a very inspirational article about an experience that her husband had while doing RDI with her nine-year-old son. This is a great example of how to teach a big life lesson through a simple activity.

Connect Four

by: Kristi

Nine-year-old Duncan and my husband sat at the kitchen table this morning playing Connect Four. This is not a challenging game for Duncan. The challenging aspect of any game, for him, is losing a game. My husband purposely plays the same move over and over again. Duncan keeps winning over and over again; as my husband literally drops the “coins” in the same slots. By game number 5 Duncan is onto him. First he asks, “Why are you letting me win?” Then he says he doesn’t want to play anymore because it isn’t a challenge. A few more games of this and Duncan is ready to move on. My husband asks him, “but don’t you like to win? You get upset when you don’t win.” Duncan says, “It isn’t a real win, if there is no challenge.” Then they talk about what challenge really is. Duncan says, “I guess you have to lose sometimes so that you can have a real win. “ Then they play some real games where they each win a few games. Duncan’s wins are more celebrated than before and his loses become no big deal. It isn’t always this quick of a fix, but it is these principles that are teaching Duncan how to deal with uncertainty.

This is one example from our family’s RDI life. The most valuable thing that RDI has taught me is that the connections and “rules of life” need to be learned through experiences. In our home we have 2 autistic children. Even though they both have ASD, they exhibit opposite characteristics of the spectrum. Where one is sensory seeking, the other is avoidant, where one is anxiety/perfectionist driven, the other checks out. But RDI is working for both children because they are learning from actual experiences with natural consequences. 

New Years Challenge to YOU

"SETTING GOALS IS THE FIRST STEP IN TURNING THE INVISIBLE INTO THE VISIBLE"

- Tony Robbins

Has the time that you spend doing RDI with your child become invisible? With the new year just passing, January is the perfect time to stop and reflect on our own lives. What am I doing well? Where can I improve? We are not here to tell you the answer to either of these questions, but to encourage you to stop and ponder about your own life.

From our Pryor Consulting family, we challenge you to reflect on your own life and see where you could cut back on spending time, and replace it with meaningful RDI time spent to enrich your child's life. Could you take an extra 10 or 15 minutes a day to spend with your child?

RDI Outside of the Home

our favorite holiday activities - week 4

SPREADING CHRISTMAS CHEER THROUGH RDI

This week we are encouraging you to do some RDI outside of the home to spread some Christmas cheer to those around you. Here are some ideas:

- Christmas Caroling: You could visit family members, neighbors, or a local rest home to sing together. Make sure to have a big enough group to ensure that both you and your child will be comfortable standing and singing together.

- Take a gift to someone: You could take a gift to a family member, neighbor, or friend, and visit them at their home. Encourage your child to sit by you on the couch as you visit together.

- Visit a loved one: Christmas is the perfect time of year to spend time with those you love. Take your children to visit someone who is dear to your heart and allow them the chance to meet him/her.

- Find Christmas Lights: Take your child on a drive to find local Christmas lights, or downtown to Temple Square to walk around and look at the lights. Use this opportunity to share the experience with your child and enjoy spending time together.

Please remember that suggested activity ideas cater to different children with varying RDI needs. Choose which activity fits your child and your family situation, and then adapt the activity specifically for your own child. We would love to hear how the activity went for your family!

Wrapping Christmas Presents

our favorite holiday activities - week 3

WRAPPING CHRISTMAS GIFTS

Have you finished your Christmas wrapping yet? If you have family or neighbor gifts that need to be wrapped, it is a great opportunity to get your child involved!

Here are some different ideas on how to get your child involved:
- Have all of the presents out (preferably in boxes or simple shapes to start with) with the wrapping stuff set out that you are going to use. Before asking your child to come over, cut the paper to the appropriate size for each present and have pieces of tape ripped or cut beforehand. Ask your child to come over and help you, and designate their specific "job" to be in charge of taking a piece of the prepared tape and putting it on the wrapping present after you have folded it and are holding it ready.

- Have all of the presents and wrapping stuff out before bringing your child over. Ask your child to come over and help you, and walk through each step with them using problem solving to figure out how to wrap each present. Add in challenges by wrapping presents that are different sizes and shapes.

Invite your child to be involved in your Christmas preparations. Please ask us if you need any help coming up with ideas or are having a hard time involving your child!

Please remember that each different activity idea caters to different children with varying RDI needs. Choose which activity fits your child and your family situation, and then adapt the activity specifically for your own child. We would love to hear how the activity went for your family!

Decorating Christmas Cookies

 our favorite holiday activities - week 2

**With each RDI family working towards their own RDI goals, remember that there are a TON of different ways to do each activity that can specifically help you work towards your own goal for your child. Please let us know if you have any questions of how to adapt any of these activities to fit your own child!

 DECORATING CHRISTMAS COOKIES

Do you enjoy baking? If not, just head over to the store and buy some unfrosted sugar cookies, a couple tubs of frosting, some sprinkles, and some Christmas candy.

Below are some ideas of how to make decorating Christmas cookies into a RDI activity. REMEMBER that every child has different abilities and needs, so here are several ideas of different ways to do this activity. Find which way would work best to your child and adapt it to fit your at home situation.

- Have the already prepared cookies out on the table as well as a tub of frosting and a can of sprinkles. Bring your child over and hand them the can of sprinkles to be their "job" (when buying sprinkles, make sure to get the bottle that lets out the sprinkles VERY slowly. Often times it comes in the bigger colorful sprinkles from the grocery store). Work together to decorate the cookies by having your "job" be to frost the cookie and then set it down on a plate and have your child put the sprinkles on. Remember that your child will most likely NOT do this job perfect. Some cookies may have very little sprinkles, and other cookies may be completely covered. That is just fine. Remember that this activity is to work together and help your child feel valuable in the activity.

- Before you tell your child about the activity that you will be doing, have the cookies made, frosting out on the table, and any additional supplies out on the table. Have a few cookies already frosted and then bring your child over to help you decorate the top of the cookie. There are a couple of different ways to decorate the top - you could share the same cookie and each choose something to put on it, or you could both have your own cookie and decorate them side-by-side.

- Have the cookies made and all of the supplies layed out on the table. Bring your child over to help decorate the cookies with you side-by-side. Doing it this way, you chose how you want your cookie to look, and allow your child to choose how they want their cookie (even if it is COVERED in sprinkles and candy).

After decorating the cookies, sit down at the table with your child and a glass of milk to enjoy the cookies together!

Please remember that each of the three different activity ideas cater to different children with varying RDI needs. Choose which activity fits your child and your family situation, and then adapt the activity specifically for your own child. We would love to hear how the activity went for your family!

Setting Up the Christmas Tree

Can you believe that it is the first week of December already? It is time to start thinking about this upcoming Christmas season!

This Christmas season is a great time to be thinking about your own family, and how you can incorporate RDI into your own holiday traditions. Each week this month we are going to introduce a new family activity that can create wonderful RDI moments around your house and community. With each RDI family working towards their own RDI goals, remember that there are a TON of different ways to do each activity that can specifically help you work towards your own goal for your child. Please let us know if you have any questions of how to adapt any of these activities to fit your own child!

our favorite holiday activities - week 1

SETTING UP THE CHRISTMAS TREE 

There are so many different ways that you can make this into a family RDI activity by working together.. How are you going to do it this year? Here are a few of our ideas:

 - If you enjoy a "real" Christmas tree, have your child help you pick out which tree you are going to buy. This can be a great way to model/teach problem solving to your child. Verbally walk your child through your thoughts as you are looking at the different trees. "This tree looks a little too tall for our family room." "Oh, I love how full this tree looks with all of the branches. I wonder if it would fit in the corner next to our couch?"

-  When your tree is all set up, bring your child over to help you string the lights. If you have a tall tree, it might be helpful for you to have the top of the tree already strung as a model for your child to see. This may require a lot of time and patience, but what a great way for both you and your child to work together doing a hard task. Before you string the lights, make sure to plug the strand in to make sure they work. It can be a fun experience to string the lights on together and then share the moment of joy that comes when you plug the lights in afterward and are able to see the entire tree lit up!

- After the tree is all set up with the lights on, bring your child over to help you place the decorations on the tree. Depending on the abilities of your child, you could hand each ornament to your child and let them place them on the tree, assign your child a specific type of ornament to do as their "job" while you do another type, or assign each child a specific area of the tree to decorate. During this activity it is very important to remember that it isn't about making your Christmas tree look "perfect," it is about spending time together as a family and helping your child feel valued. If you fix or redo the ornaments that your child places on the tree, you are taking away their ability to make decisions.

Please remember that each of the three different activity ideas cater to different children with varying RDI needs. Choose which activity fits your child and your family situation, and then adapt the activity specifically for your own child. We would love to hear how the activity went for your family!

Thanksgiving Day!

On this Thanksgiving, we are most thankful for all of the wonderful families that we are able to work with. We have been able to build up a great network throughout several different states, and we hope that we can continue to grow and be able to help the Autism Community. From our Pryor Consulting family to yours, we want to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! We hope you are all enjoying your holiday today!

Thanksgiving Preparations

Have you figured out your Thanksgiving plans for next week yet? As you finalize your plans of what you are cooking for dinner, who you are gathering together with, and where your celebrations will take place, we encourage you to remember the importance of this holiday, family.

Holidays often become a stressful time as there are many things to figure out and prepare for our family gatherings. This year, we encourage you to find a way to include your children in these preparations, and also to lower your own stress.


4 WAYS TO HELP AVOID STRESS
WHEN INVOLVING YOUR CHILDREN:

1. Start early - Involving your children almost always takes longer than if you were to do the task alone. Adding extra helpers can definitely make your job harder, so make sure to start early to allow for extra time without adding the stress.

2. Plan out each family member's role in the activity - Before involving your child, make sure that you plan out the "job" that he/she will have. Make it specific so that your child will understand what their role in the activity is, and what your role is. Also, make sure that he/she will feel valued and feel like they are contributing to the activity.

3. Have no expectations - When choosing an activity for your child to help with, make sure that it is something that can't easily be messed up. If he/she is helping you cook, make sure that they aren't in a situation where the recipe has to be followed exactly to "work." It is always helpful to add room for error, so that if it does occur, it doesn't add stress.

4. Enjoy your time - As you are spending time with your child, make sure that you are in a good mindset. What do we mean by this? If you feel rushed or stress, your child will be able to tell and it might rattle them as well. Do your very best to make sure that you are enjoying spending time with your child. Remember, your job is to create an environment where memories can be made!

So now the most important thing to figure out is how you are going to get your child involved!

Could your child...

- help you carry in the groceries from the car?

- help you set the table?

- make place cards and set them around the table?

- help with any food preparation?

- help clear the table after dinner?

- help with the dishes?

- help you come up with an activity to play after dinner?

HOW ARE YOU PLANNING ON GETTING YOUR CHILD INVOLVED?

Plain Cheeseburgers: A Personal Story

One of our Pryor Consulting families shared a PERSONAL EXPERIENCE about giving her son more responsibility and what she learned from it. As Angela stated, "Life is not perfect, so why would I make it perfect for him? It is MUCH easier to avoid meltdown and simplify things for him, but it things were always easy, he would never learn and grow."

Plain Cheeseburgers

 by: Angela

Jace loves cheeseburgers! He would eat one every day if he could, but I figure a burger once a week won’t kill him. At a recent meeting with Scott, he suggested that Jace should have more responsibility, and should order his own food. 

The first time I tried this out, we went through a drive-thru. As I usually do, I asked my kids what they wanted. As usual, Jace said that he wanted a cheeseburger, fries, a toy, and a coke. After we got the food, I handed Jace his bag. He unwrapped his cheeseburger and took a bite and yelled out, “A PICKLE!?” To his surprise, his cheeseburger was not plain as it usually is, it had everything he didn’t like and he was not happy about it at all! He began to have a mini-meltdown and told me to get him a new one. I explained to him that he asked for a cheeseburger, and that is the way cheeseburgers are made at the restaurant; the workers don’t know that he likes plain burgers. He yelled at me to wipe everything off, but I knew he was capable of doing it, so I told him that he could it he didn’t want the rest on there. He wiped it off and then ate the burger. (Food ended up all over the seats of my car, but shhhh, don’t tell my husband that part!)

The next time we went to that same restaurant, he made sure to order a plain cheeseburger. However, when we went to a different restaurant, he ordered “a cheeseburger” and once again, he had to learn the hard way. After this experience, he understood that when he goes out to eat, he needs to specify the things he doesn’t like. I’m happy to report that he hasn’t had a burger with “everything” on it since! WIN!

This experience has helped me to realize that my son is capable of learning from his mistakes. If I allow him to fail, it gives him the chance to make changes and adjustments the next time. Life is not perfect, so why would I make a perfect life for him? It is MUCH easier to avoid a meltdown and simplify things for him, but if things were always easy, he would never learn and grow. Now that I know he can learn from ordering cheeseburgers, this same concept can be applied to many other scenarios.

Life is a journey, as is my son’s progress; there is no “finish line.” Up until this point, I have always questioned and wondered when he would “get there,” but I have accepted that there will always be a new goal, a new “finish line.” If you’ve ever run a race or exercised, you know that progress can be slow, but it’s still progress, and after you run that first race, or after hit a PR (personal record) on the amount of weight you bench press or squat, you want to push yourself and run further or lift heavier. If we are truly invested in something, the journey never ends. Though at times it is tough, I am going to embrace the “now” and everything that Jace has accomplished thus far. We will still work hard to make progress and set new goals. Without growth, things will wither away. So I will be here, cheering my son on through this crazy, amazing journey called life.

Neighborhood Scavenger Hunt

With winter approaching quickly, bundle up and get outside to enjoy this beautiful, chilly weather! A neighborhood scavenger hunt is the perfect family activity.

Neighborhood Scavenger Hunt List

something fuzzy

something soft

something prickly

something straight

something round

something you can recycle

4 pieces of litter

5 different types of leaves

 something crunchy to step on

something colorful

something with sharp edges

Use this list to work together with your child to find these items as you take a walk around your neighborhood. Make sure to take a bag so you can collect all of the interesting things that you find.

How can you make sure this is RDI? Add in some changes and variations! Could you add in something interesting that you find along the way that is not on your list or go out of order in finding the items on your list? These small changes will keep your child thinking. Remember, make sure that your child feels valuable during the activity and that they are doing just as much as you are to contribute.

If this list is a little tricky for your child, feel free to alter the list to your child's abilities. Make sure to make it so they will be successful, but not too easy that it takes away the challenge and thinking.

Enjoy!

leaf collecting

Have the leaves changed colors yet in your neighborhood? It is the perfect opportunity to go out for a walk with your child! Take a bag with you and turn it into RDI time as you collect items together along your walk.


How can you make a simple walk around the neighborhood into productive RDI time?

- Collect all sorts of different leaves - different colors, shapes, and sizes, talking about each of them as you find them. Make sure that you find some and your child finds some so you are both contributing to the game. Also, point out interesting things and interesting people that you see to your child.

- Gather leaves for a project - After you have gathered your different leaves and returned home from your walk, make an art project with them using colored paper, glue, tape, markers, paint, or any other fun art supplies! This is a perfect activity to do together with your child!

The Halloween Isle: A Personal Story

Do you enjoy reading PERSONAL STORIES from our local RDI families? Becca, one of our local RDI moms wrote a great example of what she has learned from being a RDI parent and her experience with her son. Read her personal story below:

The Halloween Isle

by: Becca

            Over the past year I have learned a lot as a RDI mom, and I have watched my 5 year-old son change so much. Last year around this time I would go down the Halloween isle and make my son stand by me and look at everything. He was scared by any of the decorations that looked scary or made noise and it was hard for me to watch. I felt like I needed to “break” him of this behavior so he wouldn’t be scared anymore. In doing this, I would stand in the isle and push all of the noise buttons and make him listen to them, hoping that he would learn to like it.

            After doing RDI over this past year I have learned that I don’t need to “break” my son of scary experiences, and instead, I can create an environment where he feels more in control. I have found that if my son is given a choice, he feels much more comfortable doing anything new. I try to expose him to many new experiences and point out other children who are having fun, but then I allow him to choose if he wants to participate or not.

            Having this new mentality, walking down the Halloween isle at the store this year was completely different. When I noticed the Halloween displays out in the store, I took my son and slowly walked down the isle pointing out what I saw. Instead of pushing any of the buttons or only talking about the scary-looking decorations, I only talked about things I saw and didn’t try force anything on him. I was surprised when we were in the middle of the isle and my son paused for a minute. He then turned to me and said, “Hey mom, let’s try to push this button to see what noise it makes.” I was completely shocked.

            Having this new “RDI mentality” has helped so much in our home and I am finding that we have similar moments to that at the store more often. This summer I felt like my son was a completely different kid as he wanted to try big water-slides, play in the ocean, and build sand castles. Now I am able to look at everything in a new way. Everything last year was a huge fight, and now it is completely different.

Summer Bubbles

Do you feel like life is busy and it can be hard to find time to fit RDI into your schedule?  Well, you are definitely alone. We all have many things going on and sometimes it feels like our weeks just fly by.

Michelle, a local RDI mom, wrote about her summer goal of putting a "bubble" around her family time so nothing could replace it. She shared her experience with us and how it helped allow for more time for RDI and also just having fun as a family.

Summer Bubbles

by: Michelle

            I like bubbles. We have several battery-operated contraptions that fill the air with big bubbles, tiny bubbles, and every size of bubble in between. I love it when the wind catches those playful, iridescent spheres and sends them, and the kids, chasing over fences and rooftops. When our consultant asked us to make an effort to wrap bubbles around our summer plans, whether large or small, and decide ahead of time what we wanted to ultimately get out of those experiences, we had no idea the world that would open up to us.

            We thought about what those bubbles would look like and applied the things we knew about the real thing; they move freely with their environment, while their protective skin is enough to keep what is on the inside from being upset by what is on the outside, it is susceptible to subtle change. We also knew that though we may have an idea of where a bubble might be going, there is always room to be surprised by where it may take you. The wonderful thing about these bubbles is they are not rigid forms with limited possibilities. Like the bubbles the kids chase, they shift, move, and even connect together. Now we needed to apply this to our summer activities.

            Stress. That is what most summer activities were like for us, no matter how simple or complex. Whether it was a couple hours of swimming or a week of camping, the planning, organizing, preparing, packing, driving, feeding, and cleaning always overwhelmed what was supposed to be fun. We needed a new perspective as we tried to balance the special needs of two of our children and still meet the needs of the rest of them, and still have a fun summer.

            Once we decided what we actually wanted to get out of an experience, it was easier to recognize distractions and give adequate time to accomplish what we wanted to accomplish. We also needed to involve the children in the planning so we would have opportunities to expand, change, and see our world from many viewpoints. We took the time to help them realize that they got to make some of the decisions. And their list was long. But it wasn’t about making a list; it was about the excitement of seeing them become part of something. And now we had a calendar full of bubbles of all sizes anticipating launch hanging on our kitchen wall.

            The first big test was a hike to a waterfall. We gave this one the whole day and packed a lunch, plenty of water, and their favorite snacks. We let the kids float along. The older boys ventured ahead. The rest were looking at rocks and trying to find the bugs making the funny noises. The three that stayed with us were tentative at first. Didn’t mom and dad want us to move along and get to the waterfall? When it became apparent that they had choices along the way, they happily took them. They climbed big rocks, looked for cactus flowers, and asked us to take a picture of everything they found. The waterfall was just a bonus. And then the magic happened. These five bubbly kids began lifting this way and that and took us on a journey climbing higher up the canyon, finding a big scary rattlesnake, and making it to the top of the waterfall, something we never intended and didn’t think our nine-year-old autistic son could or would ever do. The bubble shifted, sparkled, and gave us new experiences all along the way.

            Summer is over, but the bubbles aren’t. We just made a fall calendar that is now hanging anxiously on the kitchen wall. We don’t need a vacation from our vacation. We had an awesome summer together. Wrapping moments large and small with a focus on what we really wanted to get out of them has given us a new way of looking at life with our family.

Swimming and RDI: A Personal Story

Here is an incredible story written by Tammi Sumsion, one of our RDI families about her experience with her son and swimming over the past few years. It is great to see the progress of her son, thanks for sharing your story with us!

I loved the water when I was younger and I still do.  Our summer activities were always geared around doing things in the water.  When I got married I found out that my husband and his family always spent time doing water activities as well.  I knew that when we had children they would be like us, always in the water and very good at swimming.  When our older son received his diagnosis we never dreamed that being around the water would no longer be an option for us, or would it?  In my younger years I spent many years teaching swim lessons and knew how to teach people to swim, so how hard could this be?  I knew all the tricks, or so I thought, but what I didn’t know is that my son would be teaching me.  

When we started taking my son to the pool all he would do is hang onto to the edge.  If you tried to get him away from the edge he would hold so tight around your neck you couldn’t breathe.  We started to schedule regular SWIM DAYS during the week and were consistent in going on those specific days.  At first, I didn’t ask my son to do anything in the pool except to explore on his own.  We did this for several weeks, we were in the pool doing things around him so he could see us, but we left him to explore his surroundings.   

After a few weeks I started to have him come with me as we did things in the pool.  For example, I would just walk around with him in the pool or we would take the water ball and play catch with our friends.  During that time, I would talk to him about what he would see, the divers on the board or the man swimming next to us, or his brother diving for the rings.  I allowed him to just observe with me away from the pool and as I did he would start to notice things around him more often.  Once we got to that point, I would then ask him to participate in the activities we would do.  If we were throwing the water ball I would make a game of it and say, “Let’s see if we can throw the ball and hit your brother," or I would put a diving ring on my foot and hold it just below the water (just far enough that he would get his check wet) and ask for him to reach and take the ring off my foot.   

When he did take the ring or throw the ball I would make a big deal about it by splashing the water or jumping up and down, this would be enough water that would splash on his face, but not too much that it was over bearing.  The next thing we tried was to get his face in the water.  We knew his biggest hurdle was to go underwater and to put his face in the water.  I thought it might be easier for him and less threatening if he had goggles so he could see.  So we all started wearing the goggles as we did some of the activities in the water.  I let him know that he had a pair if he wanted to wear them, but never told him he had to wear them.  At first I would just wear them and let him see me put my face in the water with them on.  We started to play the game ring-around-the-rosy while wearing our goggles and instead of going all the way under on “we all fall down," we would just put our faces in the water and blow bubbles.  After several tries, he would not put on the goggles, but we were able to get him to blow the bubbles on top of the water.   

The next step to the game was to put your face in the water while blowing the bubbles.   This step took several times to the pool to master, but he did finally get his face in the water while blowing the bubbles.  After he was able to blow the bubbles with his face in the water, I decided to try taking him under the water with us.  We started out by holding him up under the armpits, counted to three and we went under, but he did not.  After trying this for a few days, I then held him close to me while he held the other person’s hand with just one hand, counted to three and then went under.  This was the start of him going under the water.   

He did not like it at first and I made sure he only went under the water once, but I would repeat the sequence with him every time we went to the pool, bubbles, face wet, and going under water, and over time he was able to go under with us several times.  I would like to mention that during this game of going under the water is when he started to wear his goggles.   

After several experiences of him going under the water, I was able to let him just hold my hand instead of me holding onto him as we went under.  From ring-around-the-rosy we helped him try to dive for rings.  We would start in the shallow end, drop the ring and hold his hand as we would guide it to the ring.  Once he could get the ring on his own, we would take him to a deeper water.  In the deeper water it was hard for him to get down to the ring, but he started to get comfortable enough with us pushing him down to the ring to retrieve it.  I found that once he was able to go under the water is when other things started to open up for him, he was more comfortable going under water himself without help, he went to the deep end to explore, and he even started to jump in on his own.  

During our pool time I always made sure he had time to explore on his own, while observing us playing in the pool and trying to introduce some activity for us to do as a group.  It has been three summers and finally he is coming to me to teach him new things, like floating on his back, or his front, wanting to learn how to swim like me, or making bubble rings under water.  It was him who taught me at the beginning and now I get the chance to teach him.